Leadership Lessons, Vol. 3
This is my third post in a series where I reflect on what I've learned as an executive coach, consultant, and leadership educator.
Halloween is my favorite holiday, and I'm not the only one in my family who feels that way. My brother loves it so much that he started Fear Michigan, a brand dedicated to investigating the stories behind Michigan's most famous legends.
Growing up, fall brought lots of rituals that infused magic into the everyday. My mom sewed our Halloween costumes. My siblings and I decorated pumpkin cookies. We went to Halloween USA with our dad. All of it built up to my favorite tradition: my family’s annual Halloween party.
I loved this party. I loved watching “serious” grown-ups in costume acting silly. Seeing adults act like kids gave me permission to do the same.
Over the years, the parties tapered off as life got busy. I didn't realize it at the time, but as the magic of Halloween faded, I lost a major creative outlet.
When my husband and I got married in October 2021, we decided to revive the Halloween bash. This time I wasn’t just a guest, I was the host. With help from our friends, we threw an epic party. Our community showed UP in their weirdest looks and I realized how badly I'd missed this tradition.
Since then, we've hosted four more Halloween parties. This tradition has become the highlight of my year. I love the connections it creates across generations. I love how seriously people take the costume contest. I love the dancing, the weirdness, and all the memories we make along the way.
The Leadership Connection
If you’re reading this thinking, “We get it, Paige. You love Halloween. What does this have to do with leadership?” FAIR! Here’s what I’m learning:
I notice I remember the lead-up to the party (the costumes, the cookies, the spontaneous trip to the store to buy a fog machine) more than I remember the event itself. I’m realizing the joy lives in the planning.
We tend to judge teams by what they deliver: the polished final product, the big event, the “win.” But the more I lead, the more I’m convinced the real test of a team happens along the way. What matters most is how people feel working towards the end result, and whether they’ll want to do it again. The most effective teams I work with intentionally build joy into every step.
Leadership Learnings
You don’t need to be at work to reflect on team dynamics. If you’ve ever planned a wedding, a family reunion, or even Thanksgiving dinner, you know these are team projects. You also know that some of these “team projects” leave you energized, while others leave you needing a nap.
So how do you build a team people actually want to be a part of?
One of my favorite frameworks for building high-performing teams is the Michigan Model of Leadership from the Ross School of Business. It's backed by decades of research and sorts leadership skills into four color-coded quadrants.
If the real test of a team is the planning, the Michigan Model is a great way to assess team dynamics. I used it to evaluate our Halloween team, color by color, and reflected on where joy showed up in each quadrant.
Collaborate
This year, I decided to co-host with my friend Patchi, and it was the best decision I made. Patchi's entire garage is filled with decorations, and she leveled up the party in ways I never could have on my own. Planning with Patchi felt more like a craft night than a to-do list.
In Michigan Model terms, that's the invaluable skill of developing meaningful relationships. The party got better because we built it together, and so did our friendship.
It was also important to us that our guests (ages 25 to 85) felt included. Intergenerational connections are my favorite part of the party. Dancing with my college friends to my dad's band and introducing my co-workers to my grandparents were the highlights of my night.
Key learning: When the planning team is having fun, the guests can feel it.
Provide Structure
Throwing a party this size takes more than good vibes. Our planning team had a shared Google doc with a run of show, role clarity, and a supplies list. Most importantly, it allowed us to DELEGATE.
The real test came the next day. With 12+ volunteers pitching in, we cleared out the basement of the American Legion in just *45 minutes.* That's what happens when everyone knows their role.
Key learning: When everyone knows the plan, everyone gets to enjoy the party.
Innovate
After five successfull parties under my belt, it would have been easy to run the same playbook. Instead, we stayed flexible and tried two new things.
A new venue. The party had outgrown the old setup, so we moved to the American Legion. This offered us more space, and everyone stayed warm.
A band. Nothing gets people dancing like live music. My dad's band, Mostly Static, played this year, complete with professional lights and Jim, the official "sound guy."
Key learning: Beloved traditions stay magical when they evolve.
Drive Results
We set a goal of 100+ people, and we hit it. But this quadrant isn't just about competition. My biggest “blue” win this year was a dream two years in the making.
It started with influence. I had a vision: me, my dad's band, my mom and our friends Kevin and William as the characters from School of Rock. So naturally, I made a PowerPoint. (Yes, really.) I pitched it, I followed up, and then I kept pitching it. It took two years for them to say yes. #shepersisted
Once they were in, it was time for inspiration. I got the band excited to play the final song from School of Rock, and THEY LEARNED IT! Getting to perform with them during the party was a dream come true.
Key learning: Persistence (and a good slide deck) really does pay off.
Bring Joy to the Journey
This party clarified a leadership lesson that keeps coming up with my clients. Results under pressure is only one success metric. What matters the most is how you treat each other in the months leading up to game time. What joy are you building into the planning process?
I’m learning to cherish all the moments of joy that happen leading up to the party each year. I’m talking about the photos we send each other as costumes come together. The crafting that happens in the weeks before October 31. Shout out to all my teammates who helped me bring this giant disco pumpkin to life!
AND I love the new fall traditions my husband and I are creating: Pre-party pickleball, September pumpkin picking and trick-or-treating with our friends’ kids.
As a leader, I’m learning to savor the JOURNEY, not just the destination.
I’m realizing those little moments are where the real team-building happens. They’re why our community keeps coming back year after year, and why planning this party never feels like work.
So here’s my challenge for you: reflect on the teams in your life outside of work. Your family, your friend group, your neighborhood, your volunteer group. How could you bring a little more joy to the planning process?
Connect the Dots
It’s fun for me to see how my recent leadership reflections connect. Basketball taught me that culture isn’t an accident. Orientation taught me that joy should be the whole point. Halloween showed me the importance of building joy into the journey.
Happy (belated) Halloween, friends! May your teams be filled with magic (and a lot of joy) all year long.
